


Home

by lizzyunicorn



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 1930s Slang, 1940s slang, Bucky is Steve's home, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Maybe a bit Sad, Steve misunderstands Nat, Stucky - Freeform, a few words, inspired by a tumblr post, just a bit, not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6409615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzyunicorn/pseuds/lizzyunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a second Steve starred at Nat blankly, surprised by her question. How would he describe home? A smile appeared on Steve’s face. It was an easy question, far too easy. He could describe home with his eyes closed. He knew exactly what home was. He had always known it. Right from the start. </p>
<p>OR </p>
<p>Nat and the other Avengers wonder what Steve would describe as "home". Steve tells them though it is not the answer they expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this wonderful tumblr post: http://steviepinkiepierogers.tumblr.com/post/139605837821/insp   
> I love this post a lot.   
> Also rather short but whatever. 
> 
>  
> 
> “For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.”  
> ― Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss

The day had been nothing special so far. It was odd for the Avengers but it was nothing anyone would complain about. Especially not Steve.   
Finally he had the time to sit in one of those cushy couches and draw and shut the world out. He hadn’t got the chance for that since forever and he had to admit that he missed it. Sitting there and sketching and ignoring everything around him.   
Steve had been sitting there for hours – just after he had come back home from his morning run. And since he had started he had worked on only one sketch. Not that it was something unimportant. No. This sketch was important to Steve – just as important as all those other sketches in his room. But this sketch was even more important. It was even more important because it was the first sketch Steve worked on since Bucky had died. And it wasn’t any sketch – no, it was Bucky who Steve drew. He remembered Bucky’s features so well, it was nearly awkward. But then, who was he to blame? He had seen that face so often, nearly 24/7 since he had met Bucky and until his death, only being separated from his best friend for a few times and then because of the war. There was no way he could forget his jawline and the color of his eyes and the way his hair looked and its color. It was all there deep inside Steve’s mind. He would never be able to forget his best friend, not in this life and not in another lifetime.   
But still it was hard drawing Bucky. It was torture because Steve remembered how he had let him fall, how he hadn’t hold on tight enough, how it was his entire fault that Bucky was dead. Bucky’s death was his fault and there was no denying in it. Even now, over 70 years later it still made his heart ache and brought tears to his eyes. He was lucky that he didn’t cry because he felt like it. Bucky’s death had torn him apart, had shattered his soul and had destroyed him. Bucky had left a hole so big that no one could fill it. Bucky had been Steve’s everything – his world and life. When he had died Steve hadn’t known how to go on and Steve still knew that if he hadn’t had a duty to fulfill he would have jumped right after Bucky. No one of his friends had been able to help him – not Peggy, not Howard, not any of the Howling Commandos. Steve hadn’t been the same person anymore once he had lost Bucky. When he had dived head-straight into the Arctic Steve’s last thought had been Bucky and he had been his first thought when he had woken up. Every minute of his life had been and still was consumed by Bucky. Even now that he wasn’t there with him.   
It had been hard getting accustomed to this new time. Everything was different – louder, dirtier and then cleaner, bigger and weirder. It hadn’t felt right being here for a long time and it still didn’t feel right. Maybe it would be easier if Bucky was here with him. Then Steve would at least have someone with him who he could trust and who he could love. Then Steve would at least be together with the love of his life.

Steve hadn’t realized that the other Avengers had entered the room until Tony raised his voice.   
“Hey, Capsicle, what are you drawing?”   
Tony’s voice reached Steve and he looked up from his sketch, seeing the other Avengers looking at him with curiosity.   
“Nothing special” Steve replied and he closed his sketchbook, not wanting the other Avengers to see who he was drawing.  Nat raised an eyebrow but remained silent and so did the other Avengers. Even Tony. It was rare for Tony to not have a bad comment on his lips but it seemed as if it happened from time to time, too. Steve had to admit that he had preferred Howard over Tony. Tony was too… Well… He didn’t know how to put it but he had liked Howard better. Maybe it had been because he had met Howard in his time and not in this weird and different time. Whatever it was, Steve knew that he had liked Howard a lot more.   
Still feeling the eyes of the other Avengers’ on him he raised an eyebrow.   
“What?” Steve asked and Nat smiled.   
“There was something we were wondering about” she said and Steve blinked a few times.   
“And what is it?” he asked and Nat leaned forwards.   
“We were wondering how you would describe ››home‹‹. Everyone of us knows how the others would describe it except for you. So how would you describe ››home‹‹, Steve?”

For a second Steve starred at Nat blankly, surprised by her question. How would he describe home? A smile appeared on Steve’s face. It was an easy question, far too easy. He could describe home with his eyes closed. He knew exactly what home was. He had always known it. Right from the start.   
Steve closed his eyes.   
“His hair was of wonderful brown – a shade of brown no one of us could ever describe because it wasn’t like the others, it had its own color. And it was soft, so soft. It was softer than all the expensive and fancy clothes in the stores and it was softer than any girl’s hair. God, it was even softer than Peggy’s and she had soft hair. You could run your hand through his hair all the time; you got addicted to how soft it was and how wonderful it felt in your hands. But not only was it soft – it was always nicely cut. I don’t know how he did it but Bucky always had neatly cut hair. He had only allowed me once to cut it and after he had realized that it had been a disaster he had never done it again but it was still neatly cut and he would never tell me how he did it but it was still always flawless and made all the dames drool over him.”   
Yeah, Steve remembered exactly how Bucky’s hair felt. He had run his hand through Bucky’s hair so often, there was no way he would ever be able to forget how it felt. Even now – so many years later – he believed he could still feel the softness of it on his hands. Steve had never understood how Bucky could have hair this soft – they used the same shampoo and soap and Bucky’s hair had still been a lot softer than his own. Steve believed Bucky had some sort of trick he used but Bucky had insisted that there wasn’t any. Maybe it was his genes. It would at least explain why Bucky was this perfect.   
Steve still smiled when he continued talking.   
“And his voice… His voice was marvelous, stunning and breathtaking. It was dark and then it wasn’t. You could listen to him talking your whole life and you wouldn’t get tired of it, not for one minute. He could say anything in this wonderful voice of his – and if it was just reading out aloud the ingredients of the can of soup you were making – it did not matter. You could get lost in his voice, in his words. In his voice everything sounded wonderful and beautiful and poetic. Bucky’s voice was perfect – just as he was.”  
Oh, how Steve remembered Bucky’s voice. This marvelous voice, this voice that made his knees go weak. This voice that made his hear skip a beat even by just thinking about it.   
“If there was only one sound I would be allowed to listen to for the rest of my life it would be his voice. There is no sound on this earth that is as wonderful as his voice” Steve whispered and he wasn’t lying. If he wouldn’t be able to hear anything else than Bucky’s voice – he would be fine with it. As long as he would be able to listen to his voice, Steve was fine with it. He had always been fine with it. It was Bucky’s voice that calmed him, that soothed him, that made him relax. It was Bucky’s voice that took away all his fears and it was Bucky’s voice that occupied his mind right now. Steve could still hear Bucky whispering sweet nothings into his ear while he lay in his arms, slowly drifting off to sleep. It still felt like yesterday that Steve had last heard Bucky’s voice although it had been more than 70 years. Steve couldn’t forget Bucky’s voice. No one could if they knew Bucky.   
“Surely, there was this slight mocking tone in it from time to time but it made his voice even more beautiful. And when he was worried you could hear it so clearly in his voice, it broke your heart” Steve continued and he smiled even brighter. Memories of Bucky still were his favorite ones. Of course, everyone said that about their loved ones but it was true. When Steve thought of Bucky everything seemed easier and better and not that horrible. Bucky made his life easier even when he was dead.

A slight blush appeared on Steve’s cheek when he started talking again.   
“And not to forget his skin. His skin was so soft. I don’t even know how he made sure that his skin was so soft. It should have been rough after all the years he had been working at the docks but no, it still was soft. With a skin like his everyone would have thought of some nobleman. Only his hands gave him away. The skin was rough and not smooth like the rest of his body. You could see that he was working on the docks by looking at his hands – the only part of his body that betrayed the image of a nobleman.”   
Steve chuckled lightly, an image flashing in front of his inner eye.   
“I remember how one time this dame mistook him for a nobleman and was completely bent when she learnt he wasn’t”, Steve explained and he shook his head as he remembered the look on the girl’s face when she learnt that Bucky was in no way a nobleman. It had been funny to see her that angry. Steve hadn’t liked her right from the start but he hadn’t said a word because he knew that if he did Bucky wouldn’t go out with her and maybe would raise questions.   
“And his eyes… His eyes were wonderfully blue and held galaxies. Galaxies you would always get lost in. They were magnetic, electric. They held the whole universe, if not even more. I would give everything to look into his eyes again – to get lost in them once again and see galaxies in them. I really would.”   
Steve only muttered the last part but he was certain that the others could hear him perfectly well. And it was true. He really would give everything to look into Bucky’s eyes once again. To look into this stunning blue and get lost once more. To search for an answer in them again and to not find it. He would give everything to have Bucky with him once again.   
The smile returned to Steve’s lips once again and he started talking about the last topic he could think of on how to describe home.   
“His lips… His lips were so soft; you could kiss them all day and night. He was taller than me before the serum so I always had to look up at him and get him to look down at me to kiss him, but it was worth it. Those lips were heaven and paradise in one. There was nothing so sweet and soft on this earth than his lips. You could taste the cheap black tea we had on his lips but they tasted so good – you did not want to miss it. You couldn’t go a day without kissing those lips, without tasting that sweetness and feeling that softness on yours. I can totally understand why all those dames were stuck on him and always asked him for cash. I mean, they were swell.”   
Steve’s blush returned as well and he opened his eyes but did not look at the other Avengers yet.   
“I’ve never kissed anyone else, except Peggy and that only because she kissed me, but Bucky’s lips were a lot softer than hers. Oh God, how much I would give to taste them once more, to feel them on mine once again” Steve whispered and it was so true.   
“I would give everything for Bucky to be here again” he added, still whispering, and it was then when he finally looked at the others.   
They all were silent and looked at him with an odd expression. The way they looked at him took Steve aback and he blinked a few times, the blush on his cheeks darkening while he asked: “What? What’s –?”

Steve stopped himself because he realized what was wrong. They all had expected him to name a _place_ , not a person. They had expected him to say something like “Brooklyn” and not to describe how he saw Bucky to them.   
Steve’s face turned beetroot. He had misunderstood Nat’s question completely and they hadn’t thought that he and Bucky had been anything more than friends.

He jumped up.   
“Oh my god, I’m sorry. I… I totally misunderstood you guys. Just… Just forget what I just said. I… I should have realized right away that you meant a place and not a person. I’m so sorry”, he stuttered and he avoided the glance of the others’. Oh God. This was so embarrassing. He had completely mistaken Nat’s words and had made a fool out of himself. Why hadn’t he realized that they had wanted to hear a place? Why had he even thought of Bucky when they had asked him? Steve could punch himself for that.   
But the truth was he knew why he had talked and thought about Bucky. Bucky _was_ his home. It wasn’t a place that made Steve feel at home, it was Bucky. It didn’t matter where he was as long as Bucky was there. Steve had always felt safe and calm when he was with Bucky because Bucky was his home. It wasn’t a place. It was Bucky. Steve’s home was Bucky. It had always been and it still was. That was why he felt so restless. Because Bucky wasn’t here with him. Because he couldn’t feel at home unless Bucky was there. That was why the thought of living in a big house without Bucky had always appalled Steve. It was because Bucky was the one thing Steve called home, the place he was safe and sound at. It was in Bucky’s arms. Bucky was his home and he had known it deep down all the time.   
It was Nat who first said something and prevented Steve from leaving the room in a hurry.   
“It’s okay.”   
Those two words made Steve look at her in shock and surprise because he hadn’t expected it. He knew that in this time the people weren’t as homophobic as they had been in his time but he still was careful about whom he told his feelings for Bucky about. Nat’s question had made him let his guard down. Of course, he hadn’t and would never think that the others were homophobic but you never knew.   
Steve swallowed and Nat smiled at him.   
“Really, Steve, it’s okay”, she said and Steve wanted to believe her, he really wanted to. But how could he? How could he know that it really was okay? He still was new to this time and to this pattern of thought, how could he know if she didn’t just say it because they were friends?   
“Steve, calm down. We mean it, it’s fine.”   
Steve looked at Clint who smiled at him just like Nat did.   
“But… I…” Steve stammered and finally Tony said something.   
“It’s not that unexpected, you know. We always thought there was going on something more between the two of you”, he said and Steve looked at him only to find Tony winking at him and smirking.

It surprised Steve. How could they still treat him like this? How could they still think of him like this after everything he had said? After he had told them about his feelings for Bucky? He was meant to be a hero and he was nothing but a guy from Brooklyn who had fallen in love with his best friend. In his time the people called persons like him ››broken‹‹. In his time being gay had meant to sin and was punished with jail or death. How could the other Avengers still treat him so friendly after he had admitted that he was gay?  
“The time has changed, Steve. Nowadays it is nothing special and absurd when people come out as gay” Bruce said and Steve looked at him. Steve swallowed.   
“Listen, Steve. No one of us is going to judge you for what you feel for Bucky. We knew that he meant a lot to you – everyone knew that. We maybe did not think that you loved him like that but to be honest a lot of people find it weird nowadays that you jumped into enemy territory just to save your _best friend_. I’m pretty sure that a lot of people now think that there was going on more between the two of you. Even historians wonder about what exactly was going on between you guys. Really, Steve, it’s no problem. It’s no big deal for us. You love him and that’s fine.”   
Steve looked at Nat again and she smiled at him.   
“If he’s what home is for you then that’s alright. Why shouldn’t home be a person?” Nat said and Steve could hear that she meant what she said. That it really was alright. That it was okay. That it was _fine_.   
Slowly Steve fell back down on the couch and looked at the other Avengers in disbelief. It was okay. It was alright. He was alright.

“Now… Now that we know that you and Barnes had some quality time together you have to tell us more about the two of you, Capsicle.”   
Steve looked at Tony in disbelief for a second before a smile tucked on the corner of his lips.   
“Of course” he said and a genuine smile appeared on his face. He was alright. _They_ were alright.

 

 

_A long time later…_

“Stevie, ya don’t know what I just learnt.”   
Bucky’s voice was warm and soft and so close to his ear – if Steve would turn around a bit he could kiss Bucky right away. A smile appeared on his face when his best friend sat down beside him, an arm placed around Steve’s shoulders.   
It hadn’t been long ago that they had found Bucky and had been able to talk him into living with them. And it had only been a few months that Bucky had finally regained all his memory. Sometimes he took some time to remember something but his memory was restored and that was all that mattered. Especially since he remembered what he felt for Steve. It had been one of the first things that Bucky had remembered and when he had told Steve, Steve had started crying, making Bucky worry that he had said something wrong. The other Avengers had to assure him that it was fine, that Steve was just overwhelmed by his feelings and that he was crying because he was happy. It had been on that day that they had continued were they had stopped when Bucky had fallen from the train. It had made things easier, too. Steve did no longer need an excuse for cuddling with Bucky or being around him all the time or being worried about him, although he hadn’t needed one before. But now no one was surprised to find them cuddling in front of the TV. And it had brought happiness back into Steve’s life. With Bucky around he seemed to be at ease, be more himself and more relaxed. Surely, he couldn’t sleep at night without Bucky’s arms around him because he was worried he would lose him again but at least he did sleep. Bucky also seemed to be happier when Steve was around and definitely calmer. You could see the influence they had on each other.   
And there was another thing that made all of the Avengers smile: Steve seemed to feel more at home. They had known about how Bucky was Steve’s home for a long time, of course, but they had never thought that it would be like _this_. Steve seemed to really feel safe and sound when Bucky was with him and he seemed to finally be able to accept the fact that he was no longer in the 40s. Although not all of them would admit it they all knew that finding Bucky was the best thing that could happen to Steve.

“What is it, Buck?” Steve asked and he looked at his boyfriend, who smirked slightly. It was his “Bucky-smirk” this characteristic smirk he had.   
“Some dove told me that someone thinks of me as home” he whispered and Steve blushed. It wasn’t like he was embarrassed by the fact that he thought of Bucky as home, it was more the fact that Bucky said it like he approved of it and was happy about it.   
“Uh. Well…”Steve stuttered and Bucky laughed.   
“Punk, it’s good. Ya’re mine, too” Bucky whispered and Steve looked at him in surprise. Bucky scoffed in a humored way.   
“Don’t look so surprised, Stevie. It’s no new news” Bucky laughed before he pulled Steve into a kiss, his arm still around Steve.   
It was a soft kiss, a kiss filled with love and Steve could feel once again how soft Bucky’s lips were. They still were as soft as they had been back in the old times, although they no longer tasted after the cheap black tea but after coffee and vanilla. Steve buried his hands in Bucky’s hair and smiled. Bucky’s hair still was as soft as before, still softer than anyone else’s. Maybe it was even softer than before. He certainly hadn’t changed much.

When they finally parted Bucky smiled at Steve.   
“What are ya smilin’ about, punk?” he asked and Steve smiled back at him.   
“Home hasn’t changed at all” he replied before he nuzzled up against Bucky’ neck. For a second Bucky sat there in silence before he laughed and then whispered: “Punk.”   
Steve smiled, feeling Bucky pulling him closer.   
“Jerk” he replied and he could hear Tony who seemed to have entered the kitchen next to the living room groan.   
“GET A ROOM YOU TWO” he groaned and Bucky started laughing, just pulling Steve closer.   
“I love ya” he whispered and smiled.   
“I love you, too”, Steve replied and he could feel Bucky kissing his head.

“GET A FUCKING ROOM YOU TWO!”

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta-read.   
> Mistakes belong to me.   
> Also thanks for reading <3


End file.
